Where have you been?
I’m so infrequent with this thing … I’m going to try and change that. I know that all of your lives are hinging on whether or not I post … so … sorry for being so wishy-washy. I’m ready to commit to you again if you’ll take me back. I can be better. Let’s try to make this work.
It’s been an exciting and trying past few months. We toured with some of my favorite bands and some of my favorite human beings in Tegan and Sara and Holly Miranda It’s hard to complain about being gone so much when I’m doing what I love with the people that I love … I am truly blessed. On the other hand, sometimes being on the road for such long periods of time puts me in this sort of strange cocoon where your real life and relationships and problems still exist (I’m aware), but you’re forced to separate yourself in a strange way simply for self preservation. And you have your friends who care about you and know your heart and your pain, and they hurt with you and help you to get through every day and remain professional. And then you come home and sleep in your bed for the first time in three months, and the pangs of real life start to hit you again. And the next few days, weeks, whatever, hit you like a wave … all of the things that you’ve put off feeling or dealing with come rushing back to you all at once. And everything is too familiar and too foreign all at the same time. So you start rearranging the furniture and you start giving away your things and trying to do anything that will make you feel something other than restlessness and unsettling. And then what follows it for me at least is another wave of creativity and so you devote yourself to it. (I don’t write anything when I’m on tour … ever) But at a certain point, you’re just not able to fight it off completely, and in a moment of weakness you simply lose it. I don’t really know where I’m going with this … I suppose it’s all just harder sometimes than I realize. It’s hard to be there for the people you love when you’re far away. It’s hard to maintain relationships, even with someone you are crazy about, when you never see one another. It’s so hard to deal with doubt and uncertainty when you’re already someplace unfamiliar … so you put it off … but it always comes back. And often times you see where you are and have no idea how you ended up there. It’s like having a conversation that starts innocently and somehow three hours later you’re in a horrible place and you’re wondering “what the hell just happened? how did we get here” But it’s too late. It’s all out. And where was the point that the conversation took that turn? There’s always a point. To that, I mean. I’m not sure there’s a point to any of this …
With all that being said … I’m releasing a free digital EP in June of a couple of tunes I’ve been working on. The EP is entitled “Your New Life (or What Have You)” and will be available for download … for free, mind you … at A CITY INSIDE (a creative house run by my photographer/designer/friend Patrick Emmons … all the Seahorses! photos that you’ve seen were taken by him … incredible guy) in June. The songs are really important to me, and I guess indirectly relate to all that mess I threw on you guys last paragraph, but at the same time were created out of an abundance of love. I have a lot of it (love, that is), but we can talk about all that later. So I hope you like them and it would truly mean a lot if you’d tell a friend to go download it, or burn them a copy or whatever.
In the meantime here’s a picture of me and some of my friends from said tour,
Justin
